so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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