Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize