OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
