OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
