Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
