i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize