When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
