His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
