does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
