Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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