I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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