I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize