i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
This is my gift to your gina
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
