the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
And then he peed in my hair
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