I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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