found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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