Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
