Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize