Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
