considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
