Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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