We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
