All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
