she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
