I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
