Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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