Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
