Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
