we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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