honey bunches of taint.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
