did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
