just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
40s are totally the cure
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
