my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize