I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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