all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
