I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
