Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
