I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize