she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
