at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
