You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You left your phone here
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