The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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