wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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