i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
