he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
