The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
