I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize