Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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