It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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