peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
