I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize