Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I bet he comes in French.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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