new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
