Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
