if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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