His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
