i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Two words: blizzard sex
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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