Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
