Me too!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Someone shattered a urinal.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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