My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Michael Bay diarrhea
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Randomize
