How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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