your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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