I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
