That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
