is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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