It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
