Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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