if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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