I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
