weddingsv make me drug and hornr
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
