You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
