Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
