im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
