mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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