did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
