he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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