You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
