I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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