That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
