Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
