Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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