yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
