She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
